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James 2 2-13

May 3, 2012

2 My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. 2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. 3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

5 Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? 6 But you have dishonored the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? 7 Are they not the ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him to whom you belong?

8 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,”[a] you are doing right. 9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. 10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. 11 For he who said, “You shall not commit adultery,”[b] also said, “You shall not murder.”[c] If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.

12 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, 13 because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

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Ahhhh

April 26, 2012

Wow. It’s been a couple months now. I am now realizing why this has been a good decision. Not saying its getting so much easier, but I realize every day why I did the right thing. Something every day reminds me of how good of a decision I have made by leaving. And I’ve come to the realization that I’m not a horrible person, at all. No matter what anyone says about me. I take care of my kids and that is all that matters. Not every day is perfect, but at the end of the day, I know my children will always love me unconditionally no matter what. They look up to me each and every day. It makes my day when Dillon says “hey mom, your my best friend” and ” mom, you know who I love? You.” He makes me so happy. Isabella does to of course, she will say mommy you so phreety. Or you’re a princess… My children are so precious to me. I’m not perfect, but they are the greatest thing in this world.

Good day!

April 23, 2012

My sister Caitlyn and I spent the day together….it was fun! Love you Caitlyn so much! Please don’t make the same mistakes in life I have. You’re so young and have a full life a head of you! Please make good decisions! We love you so much! And are always here for you even when you don’t think we are. We do and say the things we do because we love you so much and only want the best for you. Love you

Hard day.

April 23, 2012

It’s so hard to have to watch my babies leave every Wednesday and every Saturday. It’s not only hard because I have to watch them leave, but hard because I wish I didn’t have to do it. I wish things could go bak to the way they were……a few months ago….how every Wednesday and every Sunday we as afamily would sit down eat candy have junk food all day and watch movies. I know I complained all the time aboutJim not helping me….but I miss looking forward to 930 at night….I miss him. I miss having him with me. But in the end I guess it’s not worth Being miserable. Being lied to constantly. Heck, I didn’t even know he smoked until heard it from someone. At the end of the day I was the one there for him…sitting on his couch waiting for him to get home. I can’t wait to move on. Becaus it hurts so muCh. I’m tired of crying everyday because he still lies to me. I know I shouldn’t waste my time crying over it or him. But it’s just so hard. I do love him, I always have despite everything he says about me. And people wonder how I can still love him despite all the stuff he tells people about me….I love him…I love him with all my heart….I can’t stand when people don’t like me, or think bad things about me. I’ve hurt him, I know I have before. I did put him first. Always. He doesn’t ever think I put him first ever. But I have and always have. I was 17, left my home because of him. I don’t know, but I do know I love him…he will always have my heart or at least a piece of it, for now.

If you don’t like what I write.

April 21, 2012

I’m sorry for writing how I feel. Don’t ready my blog if u don’t like it. I didn’t way anyone had to read it. Mayve I should out the whole story on here. Everything, and maybe just maybe some people will believe me, and not think I’m the crazy one…..but it doesn’t matter what ppl think. The only people that should and do matter truly is my family and close friends…my blog is my outlet. I dthing do other things as an outlet, I don’t have time nor the money. And I have a conscience. This road hasn’t been easy, but writing about the way I feel is making it easier. 

Hopefully it will get easier…

April 19, 2012

I can’t wait for all this to get easier….no, it’s not easy knowing you are with someone else, if not more than one person. It’s not easy knowing what you do. I hope one day I can find someone so great. Someone that won’t go looking for love in all the wrong places. I hope you can find a women who has morales, because don’t think for one minute she wouldn’t do what u did to me and vice versa….I hope she finds out who you really are. And I hope her family knows the truth…about what you two did….I hope they don’t support her decisions she has made….and I hope they find out what you two talked about before I left….one day…whether it takes a week a year or five they will althrow the truth…and I’m gonna just sit bak and smile when they come to me and tell me I was right. Because you will never change…..I just hope and pray it gets easier for me….not wanting to know what you do….

I’m just so tired….

April 18, 2012

This is going to be long, but I’ve got to pour my heart out. I’m so tired of “your people” thinking I’m the bad guy, and I’ve never shown you what true love is. I know I’m not perfect. But let say a few things… This hurts me so bad, my heart aches everyday. It was your choice to move bak in with me…. I have never done anything to you that you haven’ done to me. But if we’re keeping score, you’ve done it way more. I put my family in my relationship because they love me. When you started acting up and doing things you shouldn’t is when they were apart of the whole thing. They are the ones that have seen me cry over you for four long years. They were there the many times you weren’t, the many times you chose a girl over me…and ur son…then your daughters. The many times you chose your computer over me. They were there. Not you. I loved you with my whole heart, I did everything for you. I’m crazy and have followed you because a man with a women and four children at home should not have any type of relationship with abother female. My mother followed you because knowing what u did wasn’tenough for me…I had to see it with my own eyes. She was the one who helped me when it should have been you. She is the one who supported me and the kids financially when it should have been you. You say I have never put you first….well you have surely not put me first. You may not play on the computer so much right now, but you sure did the past four years. You would marry that thing if you could. And if your not happy in a relationship you should not go seeking happiness in something or someone else. And any women with MORALES would tell you to turn around and go home to the women you live with. But morales are hard to come by now a days….I’m so tired of me being the one ppl hate. Your friends are blinded by your lies and your manipulation. You my friend are in the wrong. I left you this time because of who you have become, or just the person you were all along, I’ve only realized it now. And the funny thing is…I will always be in your life no matter how much you try to erase me from it. And one day the ppl that matter the most to you will see what you do. It all comes out in the wash…..